It’s You Carol, Not Me. It’s You.
Today, I received an email from Carol Daniel, who participated in the Speaking Truthfully masterclass, Liberate Your Cosmic Roar!, in Salinas, CA over the weekend of June 24-25, 2017. I’ve already published Carol’s experience of the class on my blog. With her permission, I am now publishing her email and my response.
August 7, 2017
The Courage to Trust Myself to Walk Alone
I’ve just returned from England where I went to attend a workshop on meditation massage. There of those who think I’m mad to travel so far for a weekend workshop but I felt very pulled as I did with your workshop and was trying to learn to trust and I’m so glad I did.
I have been trying to find a way to bring the aspect of meditation into my massage but what I came up with felt awkward and intrusive. I am no longer interested in “fixing” people. I am interested in being able to help them slow down enough to be able to get a glimpse of the beautiful, peaceful place that is inside us all, always available that we never slow down enough to experience.
The trip however was terrifying for me and my mind was busy searching for excuses not to go. I have traveled so little on my own and when I have, I was able to arrange it (I hoped) so that there was very little opportunity for confusion. This trip required many different stops and connections and little ways of knowing just how I would be able to make all these shifts. I really struggled but more than anything I was so done with fear keeping me from the things that I am drawn to. It felt as if the authentic, freer version of me was actively pulling the old fearful, self limited being out of her prison.
I felt like a different person on that trip. It’s not that there was no fear. It’s that I didn’t let it stop me. I felt like a different woman. I was open, self-assured and not afraid to ask for help. It was almost magical how everything I needed came so easily and I met wonderful people who were so very helpful.
Thank you Robert for helping me see that it’s not only okay to be me, it’s a good idea. Thank you for your loving, challenging, playful way of helping me open but most of all for being such a beautiful, fun, vulnerable model of authenticity.
First and most importantly, I was thrilled to read about your new sense of courage and self-assuredness and fearlessness. Your report is why I love my work so much, to be a witness to these kinds of expansions and to see people claim and own and use what is theirs from the start: their authentic presence and power, their true and truthful voice. So, thank you for that!
And, of course, I appreciate your kind comments about me. But I want to tell you that not everyone sees me in the way you do, or has the kinds of experiences you’ve had as a result of working with me. Some do, some don’t. The reason you have benefitted so much is not because of anything I am or did, but for another reason. A simple one.
You, and the qualities you brought with you to the class. You had a burning desire to change, to become bigger and freer. You brought resolve. You brought openness and willingness. You brought heart and spirit. You brought resilience and strength. If I were in a 1930s gangster movie, I’d say you’re a tough old broad! You did not collapse when I pushed you. You did not run away when I challenged you. When I teased you, you teased back. Why, if memory serves, you even dropped a few F-bombs! You stayed right there, true to your purpose and with your full resolve. You never got defensive. You never rationalized or justified anything. You stayed right on the beam of becoming free to speak your truth! You drove from Tucson to Salinas, for heaven’s sake. You were all in from the beginning. You, Carol, not me. You’re fucking gorgeous.
Carol, your inner freedom and self-assuredness and fearlessness have always been with you. They just got a bit covered over, as is the case for all of us. If I did anything, it was simply to hold a mirror to your authentic, original self — but you were that all along. And you wanted that. And because you desperately wanted that, you saw that. You saw who you are and who you’ve always been and now you are roaring your head off. That’s why I call the class “Liberate Your Cosmic Roar!”
Which is what you did. So, own what is yours, as you are doing. Use it, as you are doing. It’s beautiful. I cannot tell you how much I love seeing this mojo unfold and unfurl from you like a flag of truth and freedom.
I hope you will share this correspondence with your daughters, so they, too, can delight along with me in the miracle of YOU.